Don't Fear Feedback
It's the gift that keeps on giving
Hello YOU,
What’s happening in your world this week? It’s half term here at Quest Quarters so once again the juggle is ON, but we’ve got this. If this was Facebook there would be a little strong arm emoji after that statement, but it’s Substack so you’ll just have to imagine it instead.
I’ve lost count of the number of conversations I’ve had over the past few weeks with clients who are struggling with feedback in some form or other so thought this newsletter would be a good place to share some thoughts on feedback.
Very often when we think about feedback we focus on being good at GIVING feedback…..but we like to do things a bit differently here at the Rise of the 82, so we’ll focus on giving feedback next week. So what does that mean? Yep, you guessed it. This week’s article will be focused on RECEIVING feedback.
GULP.
(Only of water. Because it’s time to stop fearing feedback).
The Joys of Being a Line Manager
One of the joys of becoming a line manager is that not only do you receive feedback from your boss, you’re also going to be receiving feedback from your team. Feedback from both sides is equally important and valuable in telling you how effectively you’re doing your job.
Regular feedback is a great way of making sure that you are staying on track with your personal and organisational goals. It also decreases the risk of major mistakes being made in the workplace, creates better relationships and actually boosts employee engagement.
In my opinion, people often avoid feedback because it is done really badly. But what if there’s something you can do to help with the way that feedback is delivered? Of course you can never control what someone else says or how they say it, but there are definitely things you can do to help influence the situation. As a line manager being able to model how to receive feedback well (both positive and constructive) is an incredible gift to give to your team.
5 Things to Consider About Receiving Feedback
Learn to accept positive feedback
The idea of accepting positive feedback seems simple enough, and yet in my experience many people find accepting positive feedback just as difficult as constructive feedback! They bat it away awkwardly, or make some kind of self-deprecating joke to deflect the compliment. Start accepting that positive feedback! Someone has made a point of giving it to you, so take it, with a thank you. This isn’t just a good thing to do in order to be polite or feel good in the moment, it also allows you to start building up that bank of evidence of positive things people have said to you. The mind is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones, so this bank can come in really handy during those times that we’re in a bit of a dip!
Create an environment for receiving feedback
If you are asking for feedback you have a responsibility to create an environment where people feel comfortable that they can give you feedback. People won’t want to give you feedback again if they think you’re going to jump down their throat every time that they tell you about something that could be improved. The same goes for positive feedback too; if you dismiss what the other person says because you struggle to accept positive feedback then they’re not going to want to take the time and effort to do it again when it clearly doesn’t mean anything to you to hear it.
Let people know in advance that you would like feedback, and agree a mutually convenient time. Think about where you’ll receive the feedback. Is this something that you want to discuss in an open plan office? Or is it something that would benefit from being in a private meeting room?
Be objective when receiving constructive feedback
If the feedback is negative try and avoid getting defensive. Listen to the feedback that is given and ask questions (lots of questions!) to get further clarity on the feedback that you’re receiving. Remember that a lot of people find giving constructive feedback quite uncomfortable, and it takes guts for people who have your best interests at heart to tell you about improvements that you could make. Acknowledge that the feedback has been difficult to hear, and consider thanking them for their honesty. Remember that it doesn’t matter how old or how experienced you are, we all have room for growth and improvement.
Decide who the lesson is about
Take your time to evaluate the feedback that you’re given, particularly if it’s feedback around an area of development that has surprised you or is something that you weren’t expecting. In most instances you won’t need to act on it straight away.
If the feedback you’ve received really doesn’t align with your sense of who you are then it’s worth spending some time establishing which point of view is correct. Perhaps the feedback was delivered really badly - was there still a good point badly made?
Look at the feedback objectively and then seek out evidence to help establish both your view, and the view of the feedback that you’re not sure that you agree with.
If you sit back and look at it in as unbiased way as possible, can you find 5 pieces of evidence that supports the feedback you’ve been given? Can you find 5 pieces that support your view?
Speak to a trusted colleague and ask for their honest opinion on the feedback that you’re investigating. It’s worth noting that I haven’t suggested that you ask a friend here. A friend may be more likely to agree with your point of view because they’re your friend and they don’t want to upset you.
Once you’ve looked for objective evidence about the feedback you’ve received you can now decide whether this is feedback that you need to act on. There is ALWAYS a lesson in feedback, but sometimes the lesson isn’t about you.
Create a culture of feedback
As a line manager you are in a great position to influence the culture of your team, and creating a culture of feedback is a great place to start. Model asking for feedback, and responding to constructive feedback objectively. Make it the norm to tell someone (in the moment) what they did that was great. Develop the habit of giving constructive feedback as and when the situation calls for it, and not just twice yearly during appraisals. Creating this kind of culture can boost morale, strengthen team relationships and help to reduce the amount of difficult conversations that need to be had.